THE ACCÜSED - MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD'S MADDEST STORIES EVER TOLD

I was introduced to this album in high-school by kool Mandy who's talents included squishing fart sounds between her clammy hands. She could also blast away one handed up against a variety of surfaces, both impressive and fitting... 'Maddest Stories Ever Told is my favorite among a slew of great Accüsed releases and without a doubt one of the greatest thrash records of all time! These zombie lovin' punkers laid their contemporaries to waste. Riff after monumental riff, this record is utterly overwhelming. Blane Fart screams like his balls are dangling in a cuisinart. The band matches his intensity 100%. This is definitely the best line up in their 30+ year career. There's a few great covers on here including a faithful rendition of Lights Out by the Angry Samoans. The overall production exudes an erie, after dark insanity. As the opening track winds up, you know you're fucked! Hide in a coffin, crank up the volume on your walkman and pray the rotting hordes pass you by. Brains!

AGRESSION - S/T LP

                                                        My Buddy Jeff at Black Gold Records is worth the air he taints after all. I gave him a list of golden oldies that I'd been trying to track down forever. He finally came through with this choice slab of primo 80's HC. For those not in the know, it doesn't get much würse than this! A typical stain on the Mystic Records roster. Aggression combined weirdo, sk8 punk sentiments with sliding, derelict execution. Top heavy drums, rib sticking guitars and perverted, sewer rat vocals made them a perfect fit for Doug Moody's putrid collection. I was introduced to this record during a party my older brother threw in '87. I got drunk for the first time (so did our goldfish), saw real boobs (second time), road a piece of plywood down a flight of stairs and bashed my skull on a cinderblock. Scared more for his life than mine, big bro set me up with two cans of Bud. One to drink and the other to ice my lump with. I did a lot of stupid things back then, but thank the lord I wasn't a... Rich Kid!

CRAZY SPIRIT - S/T LP

As if you don't already know, Crazy Spirit are the cream of the crop when it comes to punky HC. Imagine Dick Dale imitating Greg Ginn, backed up by Honor Role and fronted by a miniature Blane Fart... but faster. (I know, shut up!) On their recent S/T Lp, gleefully inventive, Spy Vs. Spy guitar riffs dangle from pepped up punk drums and winding bass like spittle off a small dog's tongue. Congested, ghoulish vocals toss among this memorable mess like a peanut trapped in a bubble bounce. This music is F. U. N! Not an ounce of your daddy's tough-guy shit from '89. More like what grandma listened to back in '81. CS manage to pull it off in a way that seems totally fresh and all their own. Can't stress enough, I absolutely need everything they put out. You do too! Because... CS = fun! :)