THE ACCÜSED - MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD'S MADDEST STORIES EVER TOLD

I was introduced to this album in high-school by kool Mandy who's talents included squishing fart sounds between her clammy hands. She could also blast away one handed up against a variety of surfaces, both impressive and fitting... 'Maddest Stories Ever Told is my favorite among a slew of great Accüsed releases and without a doubt one of the greatest thrash records of all time! These zombie lovin' punkers laid their contemporaries to waste. Riff after monumental riff, this record is utterly overwhelming. Blane Fart screams like his balls are dangling in a cuisinart. The band matches his intensity 100%. This is definitely the best line up in their 30+ year career. There's a few great covers on here including a faithful rendition of Lights Out by the Angry Samoans. The overall production exudes an erie, after dark insanity. As the opening track winds up, you know you're fucked! Hide in a coffin, crank up the volume on your walkman and pray the rotting hordes pass you by. Brains!

BEFORE CHRIST

I played guitar in this band for a few years. We didn't last long. The singer and I hated each other's guts. Loads of petty bullshit back and forth all day long. Boring!!! One of our arguments was about whether the above figure is brandishing a penis or a tail... Which do you see? I'm glad we did this band, but I'm also glad it's over. These songs are from a split 7" with a Brooklyn based doom duo called Skull. I'll put their shit up at some point. I'd like to think that B.C. sounded like a developmentally disabled Hellhamer. In reality I'm sure we were far less interesting than that. Anyway, here's where you can get it for free!

VOIVOD - KILLING TECHNOLOGY LP

Voivod were introduced to me in high school by a trenchcoat-wearing (even in the summer) zit-faced, BB gun freak named Jazz as "the canadian DRI". He also said it was his favorite music to fuck to... Anyway, I love DRI but, Voivod wipes the floor with them. Killing Technology is the third release in their stellar career. Despite a raging rhythm section and shouted nutcase vocals, their most notable attribute was the guitarist's backwardly distinct riffing. WTF? Sit down and try to play some of this stuff. It's totally weird. (RIP Piggy) Voivod were an absoute powerhouse of 80's thrash. Seriously hilarious and hilariously serious! The perfect soundtrack to bludgeon zombie cops with your skateboard.

My favorite music video of all time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Ly8nstfxo

AURA NOIR - DREAMS LIKE DESERTS

Aura Noir is Norway's bad-ass answer to 80's thrash metal. Their first release from '94 came at a time when thrash had become extremely uncool. Against trends, Dreams Like Deserts, delivers 6 fiercely structured, blackened assaults of incredible speed and agility. Side winding riffs, admonishing vocals and an avalanche of drumming catapulted these butchers to the top of the norwegian pile. They've remained there for nineteen + years, rendering corpse meat into primordial sludge. The production on DLD is more typical 90's BM than the band's subsequent releases (not a bad thing). These files are taken from the 2012 remaster. I stuck with the original cover since I'm not including the bonus tracks and I dig their original logo. DLD!

GISM - DETESTATION

There are certain influential records that render all others pale by comparison. If you grew up in Japan in the mid 80's, it's likely you considered GISM's 1984 debut lp, Detestation to be one of them. I first heard it at Fast Forward Records in Providence RI around '92. On recommendation, I got a pile of japanese stuff that day by Death Side, Insane Youth, Disclose, Battle Of Disarm and Gauze, as well as a cd copy of Detestation. Situated somewhere between Discharge, Septic Death and The Misfits, GISM's sound was characterized by fuzzed out guitars, squealing garage metal solos and one of the most distinct vocalist in HC history. With it's pounding energy and broken english anthems, this legendary record paved the way for a generation of subsequent bands. Most of which were content to bite a fraction of it's greatness. Face it, nothing you do in your life will ever be this cool. Pussyfooter!

KROMOSOM - 2010 DEMO

Krömosom is a fuzzed out D-beat assault out of Melbourne Australia featureing members of Pisschrist and Schifosi. Extremely endebted to japcore, they combine the speed and voraciousness of Gauze with the low-fi sonic abandon of Confuse. The differentiating factor being the reverb drenched, aussie vocals. There's nothing particularly new about these guys, but they deliver hard hitting crusty goodness through the glaze of a satisfyingly shitty recording. There are a million bands after this sound. Few can back it up with real playing. Krömosom are the exception. Terror!

AGRESSION - S/T LP

                                                        My Buddy Jeff at Black Gold Records is worth the air he taints after all. I gave him a list of golden oldies that I'd been trying to track down forever. He finally came through with this choice slab of primo 80's HC. For those not in the know, it doesn't get much würse than this! A typical stain on the Mystic Records roster. Aggression combined weirdo, sk8 punk sentiments with sliding, derelict execution. Top heavy drums, rib sticking guitars and perverted, sewer rat vocals made them a perfect fit for Doug Moody's putrid collection. I was introduced to this record during a party my older brother threw in '87. I got drunk for the first time (so did our goldfish), saw real boobs (second time), road a piece of plywood down a flight of stairs and bashed my skull on a cinderblock. Scared more for his life than mine, big bro set me up with two cans of Bud. One to drink and the other to ice my lump with. I did a lot of stupid things back then, but thank the lord I wasn't a... Rich Kid!